corset

me to myself "Never trust a girl in a corset."

What Brent does like Brooklynn?

Brent to Brooklynn: Today on my way from my car and in to work I did what you would do. Do you know what it was?

Brooklynn after thinking a moment, then with absolute certainty: You skipped?

Brent: No! I read a book while walking.


I just love the thought of Brent skipping in to work :)

What does he want?

Lily (about Zeke): He's hungry for my mom's boobs!

(I'll spare you all a photo on this posting :D)

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President Boyd K. Pirate

Lily: He says Arrrr! He must be a pirate!

http://scsanders.blogspot.com/2010/10/be-ye-warned-pirates-be-yonder-mateys.html

Seinfeld

(No image with this one for reasons you'll understand shortly.)

We turned on the TV in the middle of the Seinfeld about Elaine's a little too friendly Christmas card.

LaDawn: What was the deal with her Christmas card?

Brent: It was showing a little too much... there was nipple.

LaDawn: How would one accidentally send out that as a Christmas card picture? Who would use a photo where it was even close? That doesn't say Merry Christmas?

Brooklynn: Maybe to babies.

Kid logic

LaDawn: Your bike lock isn't working for some reason.
Brooklynn: I'm glad birds aren't as big as humans.
LaDawn: What?
Brooklynn: So if they think my bike is food they don't carry it away.

Keen observation

While walking in a park past a large pair of women . . .

Lily asks loudly: Why does she have a big bum?

Not the “Baa Baa Black Sheep” I remember!

Apparently they teach a new kind of “Baa Baa Black Sheep” to kids these days:

Lily:  . . . Yes sir. Yes sir. Three bags full. One for the B@$#@%! (rhymes with Mastards). One for the dame . . .

All I can say is that I sure didn’t teach it to her that way . . .

(The picture just made me laugh. Disturbing in so many ways!)

bad Instant Message abbreviation

LaDawn: brb, gotta go to the bathroom before the next p gets here

Brent: LOL

... "p" stands for participant, as in a participant for my usability study.

Caught a bug

Lily: (fake cough) (fake cough) Mommy, I have a fly in my tummy.

Candice: You mean a bug.

Lily: Yeah. I have a fly.

Machine Washable?

LaDawn to Brent via chat: "oh crap, I may have thrown a strawberry plant in the washing machine"

Applying Scriptures to your Life

Last night as we read scriptures as a family, Lily wanted to take a turn reading, so I whispered in her ear what to say . . .

Candice whispers: Open your mouth . . .

Lily: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

I’ll go ask mom!

 

Lily: Daddy, will you please sing the song from [Disney movie]?

Scott agrees and tries his best to sing the song (not telling you what song she asked me to sing).

Lily: That song’s too hard for you. I’m going to ask mommy to sing it!

Scott: (Sarcastically) Oh gee! Thanks!

Dancing with the Stars?

in response to learning that Kate Goslin would be on Dancing With the Stars.
Brent: 'Dancing with the Stars?' more like 'Dancing with the Media Whores'!

What every woman wants to hear

These are some of the things that friends, coworkers, or Wii fit have said to me in the last 2-3 months:

“How much DO you weigh?”

“How big is your butt anyway?”

“I noticed you look really big today.”

“I could tell you’re pregnant.  Your face and arms are puffy.”

“You’re overweight.”

“You probably find yourself tripping when you walk.”

what??

Erin: "Brent is Keith's lesbian girlfriend. "

No Vowels

I was playing with letter dice from a game and making words out of the letters I rolled. Mickayla was watching me. I rolled and then just sat there staring at the letters.
Mickayla: "Make a word."
LaDawn: "I can't there's no vowels."
Mickayla: "Then spell Jentzsch."

Brooklynn is in the holiday spirit

She made this headband and wanted to wear it to school. I insisted she look in the mirror before she decided if she wanted to wear it, she did and she still wanted to wear it to school. I wonder if her teacher let her wear it all day?

Kung Fu Tacos

So my co-worker snaps this photo coming into work this morning:



Which is funny in and of itself. Then the following conversation:

Brent
what's for lunch today?
sweet and sour burritos?

Evan
and chow mein quesadillas

I just busted up laughing.

Nipples

Erin: Did you notice that he has a weird nipple?

later . . .

Erin: Do you want a weird nipple, too?

Botox Here I Come!

Brent brushed Brooklynn's hair out of her face and said: "You're beautiful. You get that from your mother."

Brooklynn: "You mean the wrinkles?"

It’s a CD

Lily: What’s that?

Scott: It’s a CD. It plays music.

Lily: Oh!

(Lily starts to sing)

CD . . . E F G H I J K L M N O P . . .

Favorite things

Lily hugs the deodorant and exclaims, “My favorite!”

Definition of Poultry

Brooklynn's homework included looking up some of her spelling words in the dictionary.

Brooklynn: There's no definition for powl-try in the dictionary. It just says "domestic fools".

Brent: Brooklynn, it says it right there.

Brooklynn: "Polish chicken?"

Will has a Stripper Name

I found this fake check that Mickayla had written:

To: Will Hot Sin
$10,000

That's quite a price tag, hot stuff!

There’s a lot of surface area to scratch

“I’m sorry. My belly itches. And there’s a lot of surface area to scratch.” - Candice

(Sorry Can. I had to. Love you anyway!)

When You’re 16

Lily: Look daddy. I have two presents!

Lily proudly holds up two crumpled up sheets of paper held together with tape and a few scribbled crayon markings.

Scott: Oh you made two present this time! Are they for mommy when she gets home?

Lily: No this one’s for me, and this one’s for mommy! (She points to each individually)

Scott: So are any presents for me then?

Lily: No. This one’s my present, and this one’s mommy’s present. (She points again to the two pieces of paper in her hands)

Scott: Well I would like a present too one of these times. You always make mommy presents. When do I get a present?

Lily: When you’re 16.

Scott: Oh thanks! So like never again?

Lily: Yes!

Gee! What love . . .

Am I fat?

While leaving our ward Halloween party last night, I was informing Brooklynn that I would NOT be eating any of her candy this year because I've been on a diet. I wanted to assure her that her candy was her own.
I then asked if she thought I had lost weight, and she said "Yes". I followed that by asking if she's just agreeing or she really thinks so. She replied, "I really think so." The next part is where the wonderfulness of my daughter really comes in.
Me: "Do you think I was fat before?"
Brooklynn: "You weren't fat, but you are thinner now than you used to be."

And, I truly feel, there is no better response to that question than hers.

Calorie counting?

While leaving my company kid's Halloween party.
Brooklynn: Mom, so you've given up on that calorie thing?
LaDawn: Yeah, but I'm going to un-give-up-on-it next week.

Mullet

Erin: "Will ,we need to cut you hair, the back is kinda looking like a mullet"

Micklayla: "What's a mullet?"

Erin: "Its when it's short in front but long in back."

Mickayla: "oh, so like the opposite of yours."

Erin: "... yah I guess so!"



ha ha, never thought of it that way. Inverted bob = opposite of mullet