what??

Erin: "Brent is Keith's lesbian girlfriend. "

No Vowels

I was playing with letter dice from a game and making words out of the letters I rolled. Mickayla was watching me. I rolled and then just sat there staring at the letters.
Mickayla: "Make a word."
LaDawn: "I can't there's no vowels."
Mickayla: "Then spell Jentzsch."

Brooklynn is in the holiday spirit

She made this headband and wanted to wear it to school. I insisted she look in the mirror before she decided if she wanted to wear it, she did and she still wanted to wear it to school. I wonder if her teacher let her wear it all day?

Kung Fu Tacos

So my co-worker snaps this photo coming into work this morning:



Which is funny in and of itself. Then the following conversation:

Brent
what's for lunch today?
sweet and sour burritos?

Evan
and chow mein quesadillas

I just busted up laughing.

Nipples

Erin: Did you notice that he has a weird nipple?

later . . .

Erin: Do you want a weird nipple, too?

Botox Here I Come!

Brent brushed Brooklynn's hair out of her face and said: "You're beautiful. You get that from your mother."

Brooklynn: "You mean the wrinkles?"

It’s a CD

Lily: What’s that?

Scott: It’s a CD. It plays music.

Lily: Oh!

(Lily starts to sing)

CD . . . E F G H I J K L M N O P . . .

Favorite things

Lily hugs the deodorant and exclaims, “My favorite!”

Definition of Poultry

Brooklynn's homework included looking up some of her spelling words in the dictionary.

Brooklynn: There's no definition for powl-try in the dictionary. It just says "domestic fools".

Brent: Brooklynn, it says it right there.

Brooklynn: "Polish chicken?"

Will has a Stripper Name

I found this fake check that Mickayla had written:

To: Will Hot Sin
$10,000

That's quite a price tag, hot stuff!

There’s a lot of surface area to scratch

“I’m sorry. My belly itches. And there’s a lot of surface area to scratch.” - Candice

(Sorry Can. I had to. Love you anyway!)

When You’re 16

Lily: Look daddy. I have two presents!

Lily proudly holds up two crumpled up sheets of paper held together with tape and a few scribbled crayon markings.

Scott: Oh you made two present this time! Are they for mommy when she gets home?

Lily: No this one’s for me, and this one’s for mommy! (She points to each individually)

Scott: So are any presents for me then?

Lily: No. This one’s my present, and this one’s mommy’s present. (She points again to the two pieces of paper in her hands)

Scott: Well I would like a present too one of these times. You always make mommy presents. When do I get a present?

Lily: When you’re 16.

Scott: Oh thanks! So like never again?

Lily: Yes!

Gee! What love . . .

Am I fat?

While leaving our ward Halloween party last night, I was informing Brooklynn that I would NOT be eating any of her candy this year because I've been on a diet. I wanted to assure her that her candy was her own.
I then asked if she thought I had lost weight, and she said "Yes". I followed that by asking if she's just agreeing or she really thinks so. She replied, "I really think so." The next part is where the wonderfulness of my daughter really comes in.
Me: "Do you think I was fat before?"
Brooklynn: "You weren't fat, but you are thinner now than you used to be."

And, I truly feel, there is no better response to that question than hers.

Calorie counting?

While leaving my company kid's Halloween party.
Brooklynn: Mom, so you've given up on that calorie thing?
LaDawn: Yeah, but I'm going to un-give-up-on-it next week.

Mullet

Erin: "Will ,we need to cut you hair, the back is kinda looking like a mullet"

Micklayla: "What's a mullet?"

Erin: "Its when it's short in front but long in back."

Mickayla: "oh, so like the opposite of yours."

Erin: "... yah I guess so!"



ha ha, never thought of it that way. Inverted bob = opposite of mullet

Candy Corn update

In response to Erin's recent post on Candy Corn... I had to post this picture from a recent Halloween party

like asian girl

At work currently have people visiting our office from all of our other facilities around the world. The following conversation occurred with Joy, who is visiting from our office in China.

Joy: "your hair look good. darker."


Me: "yes it's darker and shorter"

Joy: "yes, look good. pretty. like asian girl."

Me: ".... thanks"



It never occurred to me that my hair may change my ethnicity. What do you think?

Baby Rhino

This is from a blog that Lisa posted a few months ago but I just re-read it and laughed out loud so I thought that I would share (with permission from Lisa.)

"2 days ago in the car I had the following conversation with Will, Brett's 3 year old son:

Me to Brett: "Ugh, why did I wear this outfit. I look like a big beached whale, or a rhino."

Will to me: "Wisa, you don't look as big as a whale."

Me to Will: "Thanks, Will. How about a rhino?"

Will to me: "Just a baby Rhino I think."

Me to Will: "Wait...so I look like a baby Rhino?"

Will to me: "No Wisa, you look like a girl, but you are as big as a baby rhino."

Me to Will: "How big is a baby rhino?"

Will to me: "They are pretty big"

Then I cried.

Then I decided I was never eating again.

Then I forgot, and ate a burger."

ha ha, Lisa you are no where near as big as a Rhino, not even a baby one. But look how cute they are?!

Candy Corn

I always have a bowl of Candy on my desk at work. Naturally, because it's October, the current candy is Candy Corn. It's amazing to see all the people I work with come back for handful after handful.

Manan, one of my coworkers, just told me the following, as he took a few scoops,

"Candy Corn is like Crack Cocaine! It's SO good but it ruins your body!"

I thought it was actually a pretty good analogy.

answer to the security question

I e-mailed Blake about trying to get into his facebook and email account and told him the problem that I ran into with not knowing how to answer his security question. He told me the password but also enlightened me with the answer to the secret question. I wont tell you word by word but you'll get the idea.

Security Question: If aliens are invading your backyard how many pancakes can you fit in your doghouse??

Answer: Zero. Fish don't like ice cream!

Does this make sense to any of you!?! I'm gonna have to ask Reed when he gets home to see if he knows the background behind this.

Multipication

Brooklynn is now in 3rd grade. I know, when did that happen? Anyway, she's working on learning multiplication. We had worked on multiplication last school year and over the summer but have been working on subtraction facts since the school year started. She's pretty good up to the 5s, but 6s and beyond are tough for her (as for all of us!) She mentioned that she had gotten some of the 9s wrong on her "math minutes" that day. I reminded her of the trick where you use your hands to figure out the answer to the 9s.
I gave her some tough ones like 9x8 and 9x5 so she could practice and she got those right.
"Here's a hard one, 9x1" I said as a joke.
Still using her hands she said, "I got 45, I don't think that's right."
Then we had a lesson on estimation to verify your answer.

Blakes password

I am supposed to be managing Blakes facebook while he's gone. I wanted to update his status with his new address but I can't remember the password. I think it's the same as his password for his gmail account, so I did the gmail password retriever to see if I could figure it out. This was his security question:

If aliens are invading your backyard how many pancakes can you fit in your doghouse??

Needless to say I didn't know the answer. Does anyone else happen to know the answer?

“I’m Too Fast!”

Scott was making dinner in the kitchen while Lily ran around our house.  Soon he heard, “Look Daddy!  I’m TOO FAST!!!”

Scott thinks it’s cute that Lily always shows us how fast she is, and now she has graduated to the status of being too fast.

Computer problems

LaDawn and Jini* talking about how to do something on the computer.

LaDawn: "just push F5"
Jini pushes it and the computer immediately goes to sleep
LaDawn: "What just happened?"
Jini: "My computer has narcolepsy"


*Jini is Ann and I's friend who visited us in Seattle the day of Blake's farewell. She wants to be a Risenmay. We tell her the boys are still single so that's possible. At least this proves that she has the Risenmay computer gene.

How do you tinkle?

I got Lily situated on the potty, and then tried to encourage her to pee.  She thought she was funny sitting there smiling at me not peeing.  I had asked her to “go pee pee” twice, already.

Candice: I want to hear tinkle, tinkle.

Lily instantly wraps her arms around my neck tightly, and sings, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” three times!

Scary Monsters!

So as I was getting Lily's bed put together last night, I accidentally bumped the cord to Lily's lamp and shorted the power to it. Her room went dark, and immediately I was embraced by Lily. She took one look around her darkened room and shouted, "scary monsters!" I thought it was cute.

Rover the dog

Keith: What is Rover the dog doing with that saw blade?

Erin: I'm pretty sure that's Jesus.

Boom Blocks

Candice and Scott were over the other day and we decided to play boom blocks. Can, Rudy and I were on the couch. Scott was on the chair to the side and his wii-mote wasn't working. I told him "just come cuddle with us on the couch." We moved over so that there was space by Rudy. Scott then said,

"I dont want to cuddle with him."

So we all moved over again so he could "cuddle" with his wife.

We continued playing the game and at one point I did something a bit mean to Rudy. I dont remember even what it was, but Scott said to me in a sarcastic voice, "oh that was nice." to which I replied,

"dont worry, he forgives me!"

Scott thought that was nice of me to decide for him that I was forgiven. He decided to use that line a few times himself.

Dancing Booty!

Scott was dancing in the livingroom.

Lily: Daddy, no shaking booty!

Brent's Ginormous headphones

Brent: my ginormous headphones are acting more like earmuffs
too hot for these
i need bikini headphones

Since no one is being funny lately...

here's a link to a blog where people have posted funny safety signs. (Note to those with young readers around, some of the comments made by posters may not be appropriate for young eyes, even if they are partially bleeped with ** in place of vowels.)

Enjoy!
LaDawn

http://juliasmexicocity.typepad.com/safetygraphics/

Brita filter of Life

I love my friend Rachel for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is because she's not the typical girl. Here is a bit of our conversation today:

Rachel: I hate girls. Just a reminder.

Erin: ha ha. I do too, but why this time?

Rachel: I have some that really bother me during the day

Erin: Yah

Rachel: I think it's like a big life Brita

Erin: What do you mean?

Rachel: They are the crappy little pieces of carbon that irritate the water but eventually make it taste so much better because they clean it

like character sandpaper

Erin: lol

I am...

Blake to Will: Say 'I am Spartacus!'

Will: I am Spartacus!

Will to Blake: Say 'I am Judy!'

Spiders

Lily: Scary Spider. Scary Spider.

Candice: What are we going to do?

Lily throws her arms in the air and screams.

That's my girl!

You make me sick!

I thought it would be funny to post the above picture from my trip as my "profile" picture of Google chat (this is usually a picture of ones' self that shows up next to your name in the list of people who are online). Most people can't tell what it is because it's so small but it makes me laugh.


Brent pinged me today and said....
Brent: the nice thng about your profile pic is that it keeps me from wanting to eat
everytime i look at it i get sick to my stomach
good way to lose weight i guess
LaDawn: :)

You should make this!

Blake: "You should make this!" (holding up the Sunset magazine, which had the above picture on the cover)

Erin: "You make it! You're the house wife! I'm the work wife"

Blake: "When did we become a lesbian couple?"

Duck, Duck, Goose

Mickayla: "Hey Will, do you want to play Duck, Duck, Goose?!"





Will: "Sure!.... Do we need a duck?"





That would be a whole different game. :)

I am just a big kid

Yesterday Brooklynn asked me what I had in my pocket. I told her it was my wallet and she said, "Are you old enough to have a wallet?" I guess I'm really just a big kid to her

foot hair

Will to Blake: You need to shave your foot. It's hairy.

Which interestingly enough reminds me of another funny thing. When driving home from Utah Blake had his bare feet up on the dash. He randomly said, "I don't know why I have hair on my toes. I've never found a need for it."

The problem with fasting...

Driving home from Church on Sunday we were discussing with Brooklynn what she had learned in primary, which was baptism. Brent told her that when she was baptized she would have to start fasting and explained what that meant. I reminded her that Jesus said you're not supposed to complain when you fast.
Brent followed up with: "Don't worry I'll fast with you. Mom has a medical problem so she can't usually fast, but I'll fast with you."
Brooklynn: "I have a problem with fasting too. My problem is that I'm a pig!"

Brook at the beach by the golden gate bridge

Buying Bikes

A few weeks ago we bought bikes for the entire family. Brooklynn had grown out of her bike and Brent and I didn't have one. When we were in the store and decided to buy all 3 at once (pre-assembled), I told Brent I would ride mine home as we'd never fit all 3 bikes in the car. We folded down the backseats and told Brook she could ride in the front just this once. After the 2 bikes were in the back I rode away. Brent looked back and said to Brooklynn, "We could have fit Mom's bike in here too." To which Brooklynn replied, "Yeah, but not Mom!"

She's already getting smarter than us. ;)

Crossword Puzzle

Brooklynn loves insects and has read a few books on them. She is always telling us odd facts about them so I was surprised yesterday when she was doing a crossword puzzle and asked "What's 'an insect that lives underground'?"
We told her, "You know everything about insects, you can figure that one out yourself."
A few seconds later she burst out, "Of course, Mole Crickets!" Before Brent and I recovered from that comment, she followed up with, "oh, but it's only 4 letters."
It actually took her a while and some explaining from us that it had to be an insect that normal children would know, before she figured out that the word they were looking for was "ants."



By the way... what would be the answer to "use a pencil" that fits in: __ R __ T __?
We could NOT figure this one out and there wasn't an answer key for this puzzel. We are certain that "what a cowboy catches cows with" is a "ROPE" which is where the R comes from, and that "ball park food" is a "hotdog" for the T. I guess it must be something like "Mole Crickets" that we parents just don't know about!

Come on, surely something funny has happened!

I find it hard to believe that nothing funny has been said in a month! Especially with Blake home, there has to be something worth reporting.
LaDawn

Turbulance

On one of our flights to Europe we hit some turbulance--honestly it was pretty bad.

Brent instantly takes a death grip on both of his arm rests.

Brooklynn puts her arms in the air, "Weee!"

You Funny . . .

While sitting at the dinner table:

Lily says with a chuckle, "You funny!"

Candice asks, "Why am I funny?"

Lily replies, "Your head!"

And Scott just laughs.

Your mom...

Erin: Decko, come back here! Give me that!

Mom: I don't know why dogs eat tissues.

Mickayla: Your Mom eats tissues!

The funny thing is that she wasn't just doing a "your mom" joke. Grandma actually does eat tissues. Mom says they have to dig them out of her mouth.

Vacuum

Erin: I really want to try that vacuum!

Rod: (lol) That is ridiculous

Erin: Come on, admit it... it looks fun

Rod: ... ok your right. I kinda want to try it too.

Rod and I were watching TV when a commercial for the new Dyson Vacuum with ball swivel technology came on. Which is when the above comments were made.

1. Don't you guys want to try out that vacuum? Looks pretty cool huh?

2. Am I the only one who has troubles remembering how to spell vacuum? I always forget if it is double c, double u, or double m.

Scripture reading

Mosiah 22:6 "....therefore let us send a proclamation among all this people tha tthey gather together their flocks and herds, that they may drive them into the wilderness by night."

Brooklynn: They had cars back then?!?!

Something I never expected to say to my daughter

"Brooklynn, you have a mustache again!"

...and I tell her that nearly every day.  Can kids really not feel the food all over their faces!

Drink Responsibly!?

Candice to Scott (referring to Lily):

Candice: I’m trying to get Lily to drink responsibly in smaller doses.

Scott: Well don’t forget the designated driver! 

It's just paper

This morning Dad went to put on his slippers so that he could take out the trash. Before grabbing the first slipper he noticed a piece of shredded cardboard inside the slipper. He went to pull it out and realized that there was more, a lot more in there. Then he grabbed the other slipper and found that both slippers were stuffed with carefully shredded cardboard pieces. Which made him think that either a rat was building a nest in his slippers, or Mickayla and Will had something to do with it. So he went to Mickayla and asked if she had anything to do with the cardboard shreds in his slippers. To which she mater-of-factly replied, "It's just paper Dad"

I have no idea what made them think it was a good idea to shred cardboard and stuff it in Dad's slippers... but what does it matter... after all, it is just paper.

From our Outing in San Fran

Brent, Brooklynn and I were up in the city visiting the Museum of Modern Art yesterday and met up with Ann and Keith for some clam chowder afterwards. Brooklynn seems to be even more amusing than usual when she's around Ann and Keith.

Brent and I had been in the restroom of the restaurant washing our hands and missed a conversation between Ann and Brooklynn. So all we heard was the waiter taking our drink orders and Brooklynn flips over the menu to the drinks and asks very certainly for "an Apple Cider with no Caffeine." But she was pointing to the adult drinks and Ann explained to the waiter, "she means without alcohol." Brent and I were baffled. I told the waiter she'd take a Sprite.
So what we missed was, Brooklynn asked Ann if they had any juice. Ann noticed that some of the mixed drinks had juice in them, one even had apple cider so she was pretty sure they could get her a glass.

Then as we were leaving the restaurant Brooklynn calls out, "Look, Mom, an iguana!" I was very surprised to see that there was actually a man walking down the street with a very large iguana on his shoulder. He saw how interested Brooklyn was in the iguana and let her pet it. She was very concerned that she wouldn't be able to wash her hands after touching it, but after some coaxing she carefully touched it only using the back of one finger. Two blocks later I pulled a Granda Risenmay and told her to do up her coat because I was cold. She immediately objected and holding her finder out which she had been trying so hard to not contaminate anything with asked "How can I when I have an IGUANA FINGER?"

She also said that Ann and Keith were her "very best friends." Which is not funny, just adorable.

Terrorists?

Scott came down the stairs this morning and said very matter of factly, "We can't be negotiating with terrorists!"

(He was referring to Lily's list of demands at 4 this morning: milk in a bottle, sleeping on the sofa, and the TV on.)

What ARE you going to do with me?

Will gave me a total guilt trip this morning.

(laying in bed)
Will: Mom, are you going to work?
Erin: Yeah, I have to go to work today.
Will: Will you watch my show and cuddle with me?
Erin: No, I'm sorry, I have to get ready for work.
Will: Mom... what are you going to do with me?
Erin: When I get home we can play hungry hungry hippos!?
Will: I dont want to play any games.
Erin: We can go for a walk!?
Will: It's too cold!

Apparently I'm just a big dissapointment to him. :( lol

The Second Article of Faith

LaDawn: Tell me the Second Article of Faith
Brooklynn: I don't remember it
LaDawn: Well, what is it about?
Brooklynn: Punishment
LaDawn: for... (I was expecting to hear "sins")
Brooklynn: Boys

I immediately realized, amidst my laughter, that last Sunday I had made a joke about it only talking about how "men" would be punished and not women. Apparently I should keep my feminist thoughts to myself--I know Brent would appreciate it, but I thought it would help her remember the wording.

open mouth, insert foot

Yesterday I was on a first date with someone. He didn't tell me what we were doing but we drove down to the piers in Seattle. He had mentioned something about a cool bar downtown on the water, so I assumed that's where we were going. We were walking along the pier and browsed around the old curiosity shoppe, then as we continued walking we were almost to the aquarium. He said, "oh there's the aquarium." and I said "ugh, I hate the aquarium." There was a moment of awkward silence before I said "...oh, is that where we are going?" He said "... well we were..." Perfect Erin moment. Why did I say such a thing?! I went on to explain that it's not that I don't like going to the aquarium, it's just that I think they charge WAY too much. ($16 per person, and it only takes about an hour to go through the whole thing.) Anyway, we did go to the aquarium. And we had a great time looking at everything. The otters were both of our favorites. They reminded me of Reed and Blake because they were wrestling around. But needless to say I had a definite foot in my mouth experience. :/

Terrorist?

Just in case you haven't figured it out yet... this is what took down the plane in the Hudson River.

Is that fire or is LaDawn cooking again?

I remembered this one as I was cleaning out the oven the other day.
Around Thanksgiving I slopped something over in the oven. The next time I turned the oven on it of course smoked. We aired out the house but later as we got back from shopping we were accosted with the smell of smoke. I said, "Oh it smells like smoke in here."
Brent said, "No, it just smells like you've been baking." Then before I could even turn around and give him a dirty look he said, "... because you said earlier you spilled something in the oven!"