Caught a bug

Lily: (fake cough) (fake cough) Mommy, I have a fly in my tummy.

Candice: You mean a bug.

Lily: Yeah. I have a fly.

Machine Washable?

LaDawn to Brent via chat: "oh crap, I may have thrown a strawberry plant in the washing machine"

Applying Scriptures to your Life

Last night as we read scriptures as a family, Lily wanted to take a turn reading, so I whispered in her ear what to say . . .

Candice whispers: Open your mouth . . .

Lily: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

I’ll go ask mom!

 

Lily: Daddy, will you please sing the song from [Disney movie]?

Scott agrees and tries his best to sing the song (not telling you what song she asked me to sing).

Lily: That song’s too hard for you. I’m going to ask mommy to sing it!

Scott: (Sarcastically) Oh gee! Thanks!

Dancing with the Stars?

in response to learning that Kate Goslin would be on Dancing With the Stars.
Brent: 'Dancing with the Stars?' more like 'Dancing with the Media Whores'!

What every woman wants to hear

These are some of the things that friends, coworkers, or Wii fit have said to me in the last 2-3 months:

“How much DO you weigh?”

“How big is your butt anyway?”

“I noticed you look really big today.”

“I could tell you’re pregnant.  Your face and arms are puffy.”

“You’re overweight.”

“You probably find yourself tripping when you walk.”

what??

Erin: "Brent is Keith's lesbian girlfriend. "

No Vowels

I was playing with letter dice from a game and making words out of the letters I rolled. Mickayla was watching me. I rolled and then just sat there staring at the letters.
Mickayla: "Make a word."
LaDawn: "I can't there's no vowels."
Mickayla: "Then spell Jentzsch."

Brooklynn is in the holiday spirit

She made this headband and wanted to wear it to school. I insisted she look in the mirror before she decided if she wanted to wear it, she did and she still wanted to wear it to school. I wonder if her teacher let her wear it all day?

Kung Fu Tacos

So my co-worker snaps this photo coming into work this morning:



Which is funny in and of itself. Then the following conversation:

Brent
what's for lunch today?
sweet and sour burritos?

Evan
and chow mein quesadillas

I just busted up laughing.

Nipples

Erin: Did you notice that he has a weird nipple?

later . . .

Erin: Do you want a weird nipple, too?

Botox Here I Come!

Brent brushed Brooklynn's hair out of her face and said: "You're beautiful. You get that from your mother."

Brooklynn: "You mean the wrinkles?"

It’s a CD

Lily: What’s that?

Scott: It’s a CD. It plays music.

Lily: Oh!

(Lily starts to sing)

CD . . . E F G H I J K L M N O P . . .

Favorite things

Lily hugs the deodorant and exclaims, “My favorite!”

Definition of Poultry

Brooklynn's homework included looking up some of her spelling words in the dictionary.

Brooklynn: There's no definition for powl-try in the dictionary. It just says "domestic fools".

Brent: Brooklynn, it says it right there.

Brooklynn: "Polish chicken?"

Will has a Stripper Name

I found this fake check that Mickayla had written:

To: Will Hot Sin
$10,000

That's quite a price tag, hot stuff!

There’s a lot of surface area to scratch

“I’m sorry. My belly itches. And there’s a lot of surface area to scratch.” - Candice

(Sorry Can. I had to. Love you anyway!)

When You’re 16

Lily: Look daddy. I have two presents!

Lily proudly holds up two crumpled up sheets of paper held together with tape and a few scribbled crayon markings.

Scott: Oh you made two present this time! Are they for mommy when she gets home?

Lily: No this one’s for me, and this one’s for mommy! (She points to each individually)

Scott: So are any presents for me then?

Lily: No. This one’s my present, and this one’s mommy’s present. (She points again to the two pieces of paper in her hands)

Scott: Well I would like a present too one of these times. You always make mommy presents. When do I get a present?

Lily: When you’re 16.

Scott: Oh thanks! So like never again?

Lily: Yes!

Gee! What love . . .

Am I fat?

While leaving our ward Halloween party last night, I was informing Brooklynn that I would NOT be eating any of her candy this year because I've been on a diet. I wanted to assure her that her candy was her own.
I then asked if she thought I had lost weight, and she said "Yes". I followed that by asking if she's just agreeing or she really thinks so. She replied, "I really think so." The next part is where the wonderfulness of my daughter really comes in.
Me: "Do you think I was fat before?"
Brooklynn: "You weren't fat, but you are thinner now than you used to be."

And, I truly feel, there is no better response to that question than hers.

Calorie counting?

While leaving my company kid's Halloween party.
Brooklynn: Mom, so you've given up on that calorie thing?
LaDawn: Yeah, but I'm going to un-give-up-on-it next week.

Mullet

Erin: "Will ,we need to cut you hair, the back is kinda looking like a mullet"

Micklayla: "What's a mullet?"

Erin: "Its when it's short in front but long in back."

Mickayla: "oh, so like the opposite of yours."

Erin: "... yah I guess so!"



ha ha, never thought of it that way. Inverted bob = opposite of mullet

Candy Corn update

In response to Erin's recent post on Candy Corn... I had to post this picture from a recent Halloween party

like asian girl

At work currently have people visiting our office from all of our other facilities around the world. The following conversation occurred with Joy, who is visiting from our office in China.

Joy: "your hair look good. darker."


Me: "yes it's darker and shorter"

Joy: "yes, look good. pretty. like asian girl."

Me: ".... thanks"



It never occurred to me that my hair may change my ethnicity. What do you think?

Baby Rhino

This is from a blog that Lisa posted a few months ago but I just re-read it and laughed out loud so I thought that I would share (with permission from Lisa.)

"2 days ago in the car I had the following conversation with Will, Brett's 3 year old son:

Me to Brett: "Ugh, why did I wear this outfit. I look like a big beached whale, or a rhino."

Will to me: "Wisa, you don't look as big as a whale."

Me to Will: "Thanks, Will. How about a rhino?"

Will to me: "Just a baby Rhino I think."

Me to Will: "Wait...so I look like a baby Rhino?"

Will to me: "No Wisa, you look like a girl, but you are as big as a baby rhino."

Me to Will: "How big is a baby rhino?"

Will to me: "They are pretty big"

Then I cried.

Then I decided I was never eating again.

Then I forgot, and ate a burger."

ha ha, Lisa you are no where near as big as a Rhino, not even a baby one. But look how cute they are?!

Candy Corn

I always have a bowl of Candy on my desk at work. Naturally, because it's October, the current candy is Candy Corn. It's amazing to see all the people I work with come back for handful after handful.

Manan, one of my coworkers, just told me the following, as he took a few scoops,

"Candy Corn is like Crack Cocaine! It's SO good but it ruins your body!"

I thought it was actually a pretty good analogy.

answer to the security question

I e-mailed Blake about trying to get into his facebook and email account and told him the problem that I ran into with not knowing how to answer his security question. He told me the password but also enlightened me with the answer to the secret question. I wont tell you word by word but you'll get the idea.

Security Question: If aliens are invading your backyard how many pancakes can you fit in your doghouse??

Answer: Zero. Fish don't like ice cream!

Does this make sense to any of you!?! I'm gonna have to ask Reed when he gets home to see if he knows the background behind this.

Multipication

Brooklynn is now in 3rd grade. I know, when did that happen? Anyway, she's working on learning multiplication. We had worked on multiplication last school year and over the summer but have been working on subtraction facts since the school year started. She's pretty good up to the 5s, but 6s and beyond are tough for her (as for all of us!) She mentioned that she had gotten some of the 9s wrong on her "math minutes" that day. I reminded her of the trick where you use your hands to figure out the answer to the 9s.
I gave her some tough ones like 9x8 and 9x5 so she could practice and she got those right.
"Here's a hard one, 9x1" I said as a joke.
Still using her hands she said, "I got 45, I don't think that's right."
Then we had a lesson on estimation to verify your answer.

Blakes password

I am supposed to be managing Blakes facebook while he's gone. I wanted to update his status with his new address but I can't remember the password. I think it's the same as his password for his gmail account, so I did the gmail password retriever to see if I could figure it out. This was his security question:

If aliens are invading your backyard how many pancakes can you fit in your doghouse??

Needless to say I didn't know the answer. Does anyone else happen to know the answer?

“I’m Too Fast!”

Scott was making dinner in the kitchen while Lily ran around our house.  Soon he heard, “Look Daddy!  I’m TOO FAST!!!”

Scott thinks it’s cute that Lily always shows us how fast she is, and now she has graduated to the status of being too fast.

Computer problems

LaDawn and Jini* talking about how to do something on the computer.

LaDawn: "just push F5"
Jini pushes it and the computer immediately goes to sleep
LaDawn: "What just happened?"
Jini: "My computer has narcolepsy"


*Jini is Ann and I's friend who visited us in Seattle the day of Blake's farewell. She wants to be a Risenmay. We tell her the boys are still single so that's possible. At least this proves that she has the Risenmay computer gene.